Blame It On The Cat
by SerasianWind
Summary: "I hope you can still manage the toilet, because there's no way I'm cleaning the Kaitou Kid's litterbox." In which Kid is a cat and Shinichi's brain can't handle it.


Kudo Shinichi had never been one to believe in magic.

Sure, there were tricks and stage magic, even science in some cases, but _real_ magic? Voodoo dolls and witches and turning-people-into-animals magic? No. Shinichi had never believed in that.

Then what Kuroba called the "diamond from hell" happened, and, well, let's just say the Heisei Holmes was feeling a lot more open-minded these days.

o-0-o-0-o

It began with a Kid heist.

Things were fairly normal at first - the Task Force chasing dummies through the halls, Nakamori-keibu turning the air blue, and Kid being his normal, obnoxious, condescending self.

Shinichi eventually cornered the thief on the roof. The watch he had kept from his Conan days was primed and ready, and Kid turned to face him wearing that self-satisfied smirk that always made Shinichi want to wipe the smugness off his face with a soccer ball.

"Well hello there, Meitantei," the thief began, tossing the night's prize - a rather ostentatious yellow diamond - into the air and catching it with apparent carelessness. "How nice to see you again. Enjoy the show?"

Shinichi scoffed, ignoring the question. "Let me guess," he said, nodding toward the gem. "Not what you're looking for?"

Kid laughed. "My, my, it's almost like you know me!" He spun the diamond on one finger before turning and holding it up to the moon.

The resulting flash nearly blinded the detective.

Shinichi cursed, blinking frantically to clear the spots from his vision. By the time he could see again, Kid had vanished. Well, except for the puddle of white fabric surrounding an abandoned top hat and - was the hat _moving?_

Shinichi reluctantly stepped closer, half-expecting the whole thing to blow up in his face (this was Kid, after all). Instead, he lifted the hat to reveal a very confused-looking cat.

Shinichi stared at the cat.

The cat stared at Shinichi.

". . .Well. This is a new one," Shinichi muttered. He frowned, examining the empty roof. "Usually he sticks around a bit longer."

The cat let out a loud meow, then blinked, looking horrified. How a cat could look horrified was beyond Shinichi, but this one managed it.

The detective sighed and began stuffing Kid's cape into the hat. Evidence was evidence, after all. He paused briefly as a yellow glimmer came into view, but this wasn't the first time Kid had returned a gem before leaving. Shinichi tucked the diamond into a pocket and turned back to the cat, which seemed to be holding something between its paws.

Shinichi raised an eyebrow, reaching for the object and almost getting clawed for his trouble. He shot the feline a quick glare before looking down at the mystery object.

It was Kid's monocle.

A feeling of unease swept over Shinichi. Why would the thief leave his trademark accessory behind? The hat and cape had precedent, but the monocle? Shinichi could think of only one instance: the Faberge Egg heist, when Scorpion had shot it from Kid's face.

He hesitated, staring down at the glass circle. . . and slipped it into his jacket. Then, scooping up hat, cape, and cat, he went to find Nakamori-keibu.

o-0-o-0-o

Kuroba Kaito (or Kaitou Kid; either worked) was having a bad day. The worst, actually. It had started all right - sneak, theft, diversion, taunt - then that horrible diamond had gone off like a damn flash bomb. Right in his face, too, _and_ in front of Tantei-kun.

Fortunately, the detective seemed to think it was intentional. Unfortunately, this was because Kid had apparently vanished.

It had taken him an embarrassingly long moment of staring _up_ at Kudo's confused face to figure it out: he, the Kaitou Kid, Magician Under the Moonlight, was a cat. And, to add insult to injury, he was now being carried. By Tantei-kun.

Oh, the irony.

At least everyone else was having a bad day, too, if the steady stream of cursing coming from down the hall was anything to go by. Must be Nakamori - the man never changed. Kaito grinned. Then he remembered he was a cat, and started glaring at anything and everything.

It was, at least, somewhat interesting to get a close look at what went on after one of his heists. He could have done without the diamond's owner trying to calm her nerves by petting the "adorable little kitty." It's not like she had anything to be upset about; Tantei-kun had already given her stupid rock back. If Kid wasn't such a gentleman, he would have been tempted to scratch her. Bad enough he was a cat, why did he have to be so. . . small! Was this what Tantei-kun had had to deal with? Pretending to be a kid, putting up with adults who treated him more like a cute pet than a functioning human being. . . which Kaito currently was not. Because he was a cat.

Very slowly, he turned and started to bang his head against the wall.

o-0-o-0-o

Shinichi wasn't entirely sure how he had ended up taking the cat back to his house. (Unsurprisingly, no one had wanted anything to do with one of Kid's animals.) There was definitely something weird about the feline - back at the station, it had almost looked like it was banging its head in frustration.

The detective sighed. For all he knew, Kid had trained it like that just to mess with him. Ergo, worrying about it would only give the thief what he wanted. Unfortunately, Shinichi was still stuck with the cat.

Which was now sitting in his favorite chair, staring at him defiantly.

"Fine," he muttered, turning toward the kitchen. "Just don't tear a hole in my furniture. Or something." An affronted noise followed him from the room.

Shinichi sighed again as he put the water on for tea - coffee was off the table if he wanted any sleep tonight. It was nearly twelve as it was. He frowned at the kettle, then stuck a hand in his pocket. Slowly, as if afraid it would break (or more likely explode), he brought out Kid's monocle. Why had the thief left it behind? Why disappear so quickly? Kid always made time for banter. Annoying as the thief was, Shinichi felt oddly disappointed. There weren't many people who could play on his level. Kid was one of those people.

He had been. . . looking forward to it.

Shinichi shoved the monocle back in his pocket. Here he was, getting stupidly sentimental over a thief while the kettle shrieked in the background. What was _wrong_ with him?

A muffled thump sounded from somewhere. So help him, if that blasted cat had broken something. . . .

Shinichi strode toward the noise, ready to punt the creature down the hall, only to find himself shocked motionless in the doorway.

He could deal with the fact that a man (teen?) was frozen halfway through his window. He could deal with the fact that said man appeared to be the Kid, sans hat, cape, and monocle. He was having a hard time processing the tail.

o-0-o-0-o

Kaito, it seemed, had used up all his luck dodging bullets and policemen.

He had been sitting in Kudo's chair, sulking (he was entitled to it, thank you very much), when a clock somewhere started to chime midnight. Before he could figure out where the sound was coming from, there was a flash of light and he was back. Human. He had almost shouted in elation, but had realized just in time that Tantei-kun was probably right down the hall.

Wait.

He was in Tantei-kun's house.

Tantei-kun was down the hall.

He was so screwed.

He had immediately gone for the window, which was when his new appendage had made itself known by knocking over a stack of books. Kudo, of course, had come running. So here he was, halfway to freedom, watching the Great Detective of the East gape like a. . . finny thing. . . at his stupid _cat tail_.

It would be funny if it wasn't so horrifying.

Kaito straightened, took his foot off the windowsill, and called up his poker face from wherever it had been hiding since the diamond-flashbomb-cat incident. "Well, hello again, Tantei-kun. Fancy meeting you here."

o-0-o-0-o

Shinichi stared at the thief, trying to process what he was seeing. One, Kid had a tail. Two, the tail was moving. Three, said movement seemed entirely too smooth for a mechanized prop. Four, Kid was saying something. Shinichi blinked. "It's my house," he managed, voice almost steady. He tried not to notice how the triangular ears on top of Kid's head swiveled slightly to face him as he spoke.

"So it is," Kid said. "Apologies for the intrusion. I assure you, it was unintentional."

Was it just him, or did the thief seem nervous? "Kid. . ." he swallowed, "what's going on? You left your monocle on the roof. And now you're here without a disguise, looking like. . . ." Helplessly he gestured toward the- the tail.

"Ah. That." Kid paused, a slight frown replacing his customary smirk. "Would you believe me if I said I was on my way to an anime convention?"

Shinichi merely stared at him.

Kid sighed. "Didn't think so."

"I want the truth," Shinichi said, narrowing his eyes. He brushed his fingers across the face of his watch. "Now."

Kid held up a hand. "No need for that, Meitantei. I'll tell you, but I doubt you'll like it." He ran his fingers through his hair, grimacing as they encountered an ear. "What do you know about real magic?"

The detective frowned. "What, like witches and spells? They don't exist."

"I envy your ignorance, Tantei-kun. . . ."

" _Excuse_ me?"

"Jeez, don't take it personally! I wish I _didn't_ know, especially after tonight!"

Shinichi stopped in the midst of his rebuttal. He had never heard the thief speak so informally - not unless he was wearing someone else's face. Whatever was going on, it had Kid rattled. Badly.

Moving slowly, Shinichi entered the room. Sharp blue eyes tracked his progress, while the tail (tail!) twitched slightly. Shinichi lowered himself into the nearest chair and laced his fingers together, elbows braced against his knees. "Fine. I'm listening."

Kid looked at him for a long minute before leaning against another chair. "Okay," he said, breathing deeply. "So, you know the cat from the heist? The one you brought home?" Shinichi nodded, and Kid winced. "That was me."

Shinichi's brain stalled. " _What._ "

"Yeah. Magic's real."

"You seriously expect me to believe that?"

"I was a freaking _cat_. You can at least consider it, Tantei- _kun_."

Now it was Shinichi's turn to wince. "That was _science_ , not- _witchcraft_ or whatever you're trying to get me to-"

"No tricks, Kudo."

For the first time he could remember, Kid's voice and expression were completely serious. Furthermore, the thief had used his actual name. Shinichi shut up.

"I held that stupid diamond up to the moon, it tried to blind me, and next thing I know I'm trapped under my own hat. Hardly my proudest moment, and hardly something I'd want to admit to anyone." He gave a sardonic smile. "Least of all you."

Shinichi opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again. "Okay. Okay, assuming I. . . believe you. . . what now?"

There was a short silence before Kid spoke. "I wish I knew."

o-0-o-0-o

Kaito growled, staring down at his paws in distaste. Thirty-some minutes of discussion (comprised mostly of awkward silence) had led to no conclusion. It had been rendered a moot point, anyway - at the end of the midnight hour, Kaito had reverted to cat form. Kudo had goggled for a bit, turned a few amusing shades of white, and eventually stammered that Kid could stay at his house for the time being. It was really quite nice of him. Too bad Kaito was in no mood to be appreciative.

Speaking of Tantei-kun, he was still staring at Kaito from across the room. Kaito waved his tail at him, wondering what a Kid smirk would look like on a cat's face.

The detective blinked, then rose and turned toward the door. "I'm going to bed. Who knows? Maybe I fell down the stairs at the heist and this is all just a really weird hallucination."

This time Kaito blinked. Did Tantei-kun just make a joke? He watched the detective cross the room and pause, one hand on the door.

"Oi. Kid." Kudo glanced over his shoulder, a hint of a smile barely visible. "I hope you can still manage the toilet, because I'm sure as hell not cleaning the Kaitou Kid's litter box."

Kaito's jaw dropped. Had he been human, he would have burst into incredulous laughter. At least _one_ good thing had come from this mess - on his own, he probably would have never discovered that Tantei-kun had a sense of humor.

o-0-o-0-o

The next day, Shinichi was soon wondering what on earth had possessed him to invite the Kaitou Kid - feline or not - to stay at his house.

Sure, they had occasionally helped each other out, but when it came down to it, Kid was a thief. As a detective, it was Shinichi's duty to put him behind bars.

. . .Not that he could actually do that right now. Shinichi cringed. He could see it now: "Famous Detective Tries To Arrest Cat - Claims To Have Caught KID."

Just. . . no.

So he couldn't arrest him; that didn't mean he had to let him stay. Kid's current shape aside, he was technically harboring one of Japan's most wanted. And the worst part was, he didn't even feel particularly guilty. Shinichi scowled, pinching the bridge of his nose. Okay, so Kid was (obviously) in trouble. Really weird trouble. It was only fair to give him a break, right?

Right. It was only _fair_ to give the international criminal a break. Jeez, what was Kid doing to his head? He really shouldn't be feeling charitable toward the thief, especially after the incident with Ran; he had almost had a heart attack when he walked in to find his girlfriend snuggling the "cat." He couldn't even punt the little twit without Ran kicking _him_ into orbit.

Needless to say, they would be having Words come midnight.

Still, it wasn't like he hated Kid. The thief was a challenge, one that came with no strings attached. How often would he find a case where it genuinely didn't matter if he failed? Kid always returned what he stole. There were no consequences beyond bruised dignity and perhaps a bit of property damage. Therefore, there was no pressure to be the perfect, unruffled Detective of the East.

Shinichi hated to admit it, but the label of 'rivals' didn't really seem to fit anymore. Where that left them, he didn't know, but he wasn't entirely sure it was a bad thing.

The detective looked up to find a pair of blue cat eyes staring into his. Speak of the kaitou.

Well. . . he supposed it couldn't hurt to let Kid stay for a while.

o-0-o-0-o

Kaito was rapidly coming to realize that being a cat left one with a lot of time for thinking. There certainly wasn't much else for him to do while Tantei-kun was at school. Crap, one day without opposable thumbs and he was already losing it - he didn't want to know what that said about his sanity. Although, Hakuba thought he was insane anyway. . . huh. For that matter, so did Nakamori, his class, the Taskforce, and probably a good portion of Japan.

Maybe he should take the time (he had plenty of it) to reevaluate his life. After all, Tantei-kun now knew his face, and he wasn't even worried about it. If _that_ didn't speak for insanity, he didn't know what did.

It wasn't that he didn't trust the detective, but Kudo was exactly that: a detective. Sworn enemy of kaitou everywhere, and far more likely to send a soccer ball rocketing toward his face than offer a hand.

Although, now that he thought about it, the current situation hadn't really changed anything. Tantei-kun had already known his face; he'd disguised himself as Kudo Shinichi often enough. If the detective hadn't said anything by now, chances were he wasn't going to. Besides, Tantei-kun was more than just a critic - he was the closest thing to a friend Kid was capable of having. (That stick-in-the-mud Hakuba didn't count.)

It didn't mean Kaito wouldn't try to throw him off track, but. . . it wouldn't be too terrible if he failed.

o-0-o-0-o

Eventually, things settled into a kind of rhythm. While Shinichi went about his day, either at school or the police station, Kaito tried not to destroy the furniture out of sheer boredom. Once Shinichi got home, Kaito would entertain himself by following the detective around the house, getting underfoot and generally making a nuisance of himself. Shinichi would sigh and grumble, but ultimately a trace of amusement would creep into his expression. After dinner, they would settle down in the library to wait for midnight. Sometimes they researched, trying to find a solution to Kid's problem; sometimes they simply talked.

"You might as well tell me your name," Shinichi had said the first time. "I've seen your face now. It wouldn't be terribly difficult to figure out your identity."

Kaito had only grinned, his tail twitching lazily. "Now Tantei-kun, how do you know I'm not wearing a mask?"

Shinichi raised an eyebrow. "Other than the fact I _know_ you look like me?" He tried to ignore the other's snicker; 'tried' being the operative word. "Considering what happened to your hat and cape, I doubt something like that would have stayed with you when you. . . you know." He coughed, still uncomfortable with the whole 'magic' thing. "Changed."

"Who knows?" Kaito shrugged, still grinning. "My suit stayed with me."

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "And aren't we all grateful for that."

It was an odd kind of rhythm, but things could have been worse.

o-0-o-0-o

"Oi, Tantei-kun."

Across the room, Kudo looked up from his book. "What?"

Kaito tapped the screen of his borrowed laptop. "I think I may have found something."

"Really?" The detective moved to join the thief. "What have you got?"

"Turns out, the diamond-from-hell used to be part of a pair." Kaito tilted the laptop so Kudo could see. "It was pretty far back, so it took a while to dig up the legend. If I'm lucky, the other stone might be able to reverse this." He flicked his tail.

The detective raised an eyebrow. "I take it you know where it is?"

"Yep." Kaito grinned. "Right here in Tokyo. One of my favorite museums."

"A museum, huh?" Kudo frowned. "That could prove difficult."

"Well, I did have one idea, but I'd need your help."

Kudo's expression turned cold. "I hope you aren't suggesting I steal it for you."

Kaito stared at him for a moment before snickering. "Actually, I was going to suggest sending a heist note and using the resulting panic to take a look." The detective gaped at him, and Kaito flashed a Kid smirk. "Although, if you really want to borrow my suit, I'd be willing to oblige."

"Y-You- I would never-!"

Kaito didn't even try to hold back his laughter. Kudo's face was bright red as he continued to fail at forming a coherent sentence, and the sight was highly amusing.

"A-Anyway-"

Oh look, Tantei-kun had his mouth under control again. Better pay attention.

"-we should think of a back-up plan in case it doesn't work. I'd _hate_ to see your reputation damaged." The sarcasm was almost palpable.

Kaito waved a hand. "If it doesn't work, we'll pass it off as another Kid impersonator." He slung an arm around the detective's shoulders and grinned. "So, how about it, Tantei-kun? Wanna help me write a heist note?"

o-0-o-0-o

Getting in, Shinichi reflected, had been surprisingly simple. The museum curator had been ecstatic first (because a Kid heist equalled instant fame) and fearful next (once the possibility of an imposter came up). Needless to say, the man was more than willing to let Shinichi check over the museum's security measures (not bad, but definitely not Kid-proof).

Thankfully, no one had noticed there was a cat in Shinichi's bag.

"If this does something weird to me, I will murder you," he muttered as he walked up to the case with the jewel. It looked like an ordinary diamond to Shinichi - not magical in the slightest. The detective sighed. He was going to feel silly if it turned out this was all for nothing.

He checked over the case, lifting the glass and setting it aside to inspect the display itself. A quick glance around showed that no one was looking his way, which was rather careless of them. What if he had been Kid? The heist note, which he had _not_ helped write, had specified a date, not a time. Technically, the thief could appear whenever he chose.

Shinichi sighed. He honestly hoped Kid _would_ appear soon. It was funny how a magic diamond could shift one's perspective. "All right, Kid - here's your chance. Let's hope you're right and it's not moon-activated like the last one."

An instant later, the cat was on the display, pawing at the gem. A shout came from somewhere behind them - _oops_ \- and then there was a now-familiar flash of light. Shinichi barely caught a glimpse of a figure in white before the room filled with pink smoke. By the time it cleared, the room was empty of both Kid and gem.

Shinichi glanced at the curator, who seemed to be gearing up for either a screaming match or a panic attack, and cursed internally. The stupid thief could have at least taken Shinichi with him.

o-0-o-0-o

Shinichi was surprised and a little bit gratified to find Kid waiting for him when he finally made it home. He settled on annoyance once he noticed the thief was wearing his clothes.

"Thanks for leaving me to deal with the aftermath," he said sourly. "And who said you could take my things?"

Kid, of course, ignored the accusation. "But Tantei-kun, if I took you with me, they'd think you were an accomplice!"

"Or they'd just think I was you," Shinichi grumbled. "Seriously, the way that curator was going off, you'd think I _had_ stolen it. And I thought Nakamori-keibu was loud."

Kid's eyes widened. "Louder than Nakamori?" He laid a hand on Shinichi's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Tantei-kun. Had I known in what peril I was leaving you, I would have staged a rescue immediately."

Shinichi rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop the corner of his mouth from quirking upward. "Whatever. At least it worked."

"Yep. All fixed." Kid hesitated, looking strangely uncertain. "Um. . . thank you." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "For helping me."

"It was no problem." Shinichi shifted, looking away. "Guess this is the end of our truce, huh?"

"Guess so." Kid gave a short laugh. "It was nice while it lasted."

"Yeah." Shinichi wondered if his smile looked as forced as Kid's laugh had sounded. "Oh - here." He pulled out Kid's monocle; he had forgotten it was still in his pocket. Good thing no one at the museum had searched him. "I should probably give this back to you."

Kid stared down at the glass piece, then up at Shinichi. "You've been holding on to that all this time?"

The detective rubbed the back of his neck. "Er, yeah. When I first found it on the roof, I. . . it worried me. You've never dropped one before."

"But wouldn't it be evidence?"

"Yes, I suppose. I really shouldn't have kept it."

"Well, thanks. Again," Kid said, vanishing the monocle with a small poof of smoke.

Shinichi snorted. "Just don't do this again, Kid."

The thief looked at him through narrowed eyes, then nodded slightly. "Change of plans - truce is still on. And it's Kuroba."

Shinichi blinked. "Pardon?"

"My name," the thief clarified. "It's Kuroba Kaito." He grinned. "You said it yourself - you could find me easily enough if you tried. Now you don't have to."

Shinichi knew his mouth was probably hanging open, but that was of secondary importance right now. He _had_ said that. It didn't mean he'd expected the thief to actually listen. "Why would you-? I'm a _detective_ , you idiot!"

Kid - Kuroba - shrugged. "Are you going to turn me in?"

". . . No." It would feel too much like cheating.

"Then as long as you don't tell Hakuba, there's no problem." The thief slung an arm over Shinichi's shoulders and grinned. "Besides, you can't exactly go around calling me 'Kid' in public."

Shinichi raised an eyebrow. "I take it this means I'll be seeing more of you?"

"You catch on quick." Another smoke cloud, and Kuroba was halfway out the door. "See you around, Kudo~!"

Shinichi stared after the thief's retreating figure. So they were what - friends now? He had the Kaitou Kid's name, and, apparently, his trust.

The detective smiled. Things were certainly going to be interesting from now on.

o-0-o-0-o

Kaito raced for the bus stop, delighting in the feel of his proper shape. Sure, he had been fast as a cat, but it was nothing compared to running on his own legs. He was still fast enough to outpace his pursuers, and that was good enough for him.

He boarded the bus, wondering idly if Tantei-kun had noticed his missing wallet yet (it wasn't like he brought his own to heists). He'd return it later, of course.

The thief grinned. Kudo's face when he told him his name had been priceless. After everything that happened, the detective still hadn't expected Kid to trust him. To be fair, it _was_ a pretty absurd risk. It was okay, though - Kaito had accepted his own insanity.

It made life more fun, after all.

o-0-o-0-o

"Oi, Kudo, I heard ya got a cat."

"It was a temporary situation. I gave it back to its owner."

"Eh? Where'd ya get it from?"

"Trust me, Hattori - you _really_ don't want to know."

* * *

 **Hello, all - hope you enjoyed this bit of craziness. I know the whole "magic gem" thing is pretty cliche at this point, but it was either that or use Akako as a plot device, so. . . .**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading!**

 **Reviews are made of magic.~ To the person who left that first review on Windows And Roses, thank you so much - you made my entire week! If I ever do start writing sleaze, please feel free to poke me with a stick or something until I stop. ^^**


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